Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of chick's baps you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up boobies. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a stud WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is amazed:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of chicks I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how anxious guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one arm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood quicker than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the lovemaking there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous ladies at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous women at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this woman to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound ditzy and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other arm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's most likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a damsel is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hook-up with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of damsels for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of chick's tits you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up breasts. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a stud WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural assets of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is struck:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of damsels I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how anxious guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one forearm but gravely, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the lovemaking there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous women at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a wank you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this doll to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound bimbo and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other forearm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a female is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hookup with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of female's mounds you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up breasts. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a boy WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is struck:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of women I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one forearm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood quicker than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous women at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this chick to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound foolish and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other forearm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a female is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having lovemaking with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of chick's tits you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up titties. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a dude WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is affected:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of chicks I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the fever of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one forearm but gravely, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous damsels at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a masturbate you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this chick to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound foolish and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other arm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a dame is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hookup with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of ladies for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of dame's tits you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up bra-stuffers. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a boy WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is affected:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of ladies I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the fever of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one arm but gravely, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous ladies at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a masturbate you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this woman to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound stupid and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other mitt, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a lady is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hookup with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, commencing a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of lady's titties you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up orbs. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a man WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural assets of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is affected:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of damsels I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the fever of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the waistline up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one palm but gravely, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood quicker than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While lovemaking with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous chicks at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous women at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this lady to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound bimbo and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a female is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having lovemaking with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of chick's knockers you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up tits. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a dude WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural bod of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is amazed:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of ladies I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how anxious guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one arm but gravely, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While lovemaking with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hookup there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous damsels at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous women at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a wank you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this dame to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound ditzy and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a dame is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hookup with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of ladies for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of dame's knockers you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up tits. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a dude WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural bod of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is amazed:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of ladies I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how anxious guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one forearm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hookup with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hookup there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous ladies at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous ladies at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a wank you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this female to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound bimbo and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a chick is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hook-up with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, commencing a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of damsel's melons you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up orbs. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a man WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is struck:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of women I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the waistline up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one arm but gravely, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood quicker than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While lovemaking with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous chicks at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a wank you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this lady to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound ditzy and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a doll is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having lovemaking with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, embarking a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of chicks for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of chick's hooters you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up baps. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a dude WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural assets of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is affected:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of chicks I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one arm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While lovemaking with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous ladies at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous ladies at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a masturbate you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this female to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound foolish and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's most likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a dame is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hook-up with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, embarking a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of chicks for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of woman's bra-stuffers you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up tits. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a dude WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural bod of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is struck:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of women I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how anxious guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one palm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hookup with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous damsels at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous women at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this woman to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound bimbo and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other mitt, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a female is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having lovemaking with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of chick's melons you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up baps. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a stud WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural assets of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is amazed:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of women I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how impatient guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the midbody up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one palm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While lovemaking with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous women at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this dame to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound stupid and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a damsel is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hook-up with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, kicking off a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of ladies for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of female's orbs you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up orbs. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a man WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural bod of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is amazed:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of ladies I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one arm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood quicker than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hookup with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the lovemaking there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous damsels at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous chicks at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a masturbate you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this dame to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound ditzy and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other palm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's most likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a dame is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hook-up with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, beginning a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of women for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of damsel's hooters you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up bra-stuffers. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a stud WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is struck:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of damsels I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how impatient guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and most likely typing with one forearm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous chicks at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous women at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she very likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Earnestly fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this dame to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound foolish and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other arm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a damsel is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having lovemaking with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Lovemaking

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, kicking off a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of ladies for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of lady's boobies you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up jugs. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a fellow WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she indeed going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is amazed:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of chicks I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how antsy guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the fever of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one forearm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood swifter than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While lovemaking with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hook-up there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous damsels at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous women at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jack you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this damsel to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's most likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound bimbo and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other arm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's most likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a damsel is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hookup with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hookup

Sexting Examples: Your Official Guide To Phone Hook-up

Let's be fair, we've all at least attempted to do a little sexting. No matter if you were attempting to spice up an existing relationship, embarking a fresh one, or just being a creepy dude who attempts to get pictures of ladies for his own private collection, you've done it. A side note to the creepy dudes, you know if you just want pictures of doll's hooters you can turn off Google safe search and literally anything you type in will bring up mounds. Attempt that.

Here are some steps to guide you through your sexting practice. Now I know you're excited and can't wait to dive into your fresh world of textual exploration but slow down. Here's your very first rule:

Here's an actual text a female friend of mine received from a boy WHO GOT HER NUMBER FROM FACEBOOK:

There are obviously so many things wrong with this.

The very first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that's a entire other set of issues. Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she truly going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, exposed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? OF COURSE!” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will switch her mind.

If you're thinking about this treatment save yourself some time and throw your phone into the nearest natural figure of water because you are insane. If you're going to sext with someone at least have some sort of conversation very first.

If not then you might as well just text random numbers and hope someone is affected:

Two. DON'T send a picture of your penis.

According to the dozens of ladies I've spoken to about this, it's crazy how anxious guys are to send a picture of their penis to just about anyone who will look. It's not even in the warmth of sexting, it's almost a conversation starter for some guys, like a coffee table book; a horrible, flaccid coffee table book. Here's what NOT to do:

If you must send a picture, keep it from the mid-body up unless specifically asked. Also, if you send a picture of your penis know that she's sent it to her friends as a joke. Trust me on this, I wish it wasn't true because I've jokingly been sent more awkward penis pics from my female friends than I'd care to mention. Just stop sending them so they'll stop sending them to me, OK?

Look, I know you're in the moment and very likely typing with one palm but earnestly, make sure you don't have a typo. Is there anything that would kill the mood quicker than this:

It doesn't matter how sweet you are or how sexy you are attempting to be, terrible spelling and grammar is a deal breaker. Also, for the love of god, don't misspell her name:

Four. DO use numerous adjectives (or get a thesaurus)

If you're going to be sexting, you're going to need a deep bench of complimentary adjectives. You don't want to type something like this:

Don't be too proud to pull up a thesaurus and look up some other words for “awesome” instead of sounding like a pre-teen describing Taco Bell.

While hook-up with you may only last for two minutes, your sexting should not. Taking your time is a must. If you go straight to the hookup there's not much left to text about.

If you don't have time to get detailed then you don't have time to do it at all. This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you're better than that. Go slow and pay attention to details. You're describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby's parking lot.

6. DON'T attempt to sext numerous damsels at once.

This should go without telling but don't attempt to pull a dual header and sext numerous damsels at once. Even if you aren't dating any of them and you're just casually attempting to meet up, this could result in a nightmare:

Unnecessary to say you aren't going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there's any pattern in the universe at all, she most likely knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a wank you are with her by the end of the night.

I did not believe this was an actual thing. I didn't know there were guys out there who did this, but evidently I was very wrong:

Gravely fellas, if you get to that point maybe just let them know with your words and not the sound. Also, how did you type that while having an orgasmjQuery1910014093228615820408_1368119094934?

You want this chick to think you're sexy but attempt to keep your physical descriptions realistic. While this may be how you see yourself, it's very likely not that accurate at all:

Maybe you're being a little too kind to yourself? You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don't describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter.

This doesn't just apply to you, don't exaggerate what you're going to do to her too much either:

You want her to know that you're a strong, sultry paramour, but lodge down a little pal. If this surfaced in a court of law you would instantly be found guilty.

9. DO sext with iPhone users.

This may sound foolish and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an iPhone you'll get this in your talk window:

That way you know they've seen what you've written and they're responding to your text. It's wonderful.

On the other forearm, if you have an iPhone and they don't, you get this:

Is she typing? Is she no longer interested? Did her battery die? Did she die? Who knows because all the texts are green and I can't see when anyone is responding. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding.

Ten. DO realize she's very likely not doing all those sexy things she's typing.

I asked my female friends what they're actually doing while sexting and, unluckily, some of the results might make you sad:

It isn't much better on the picture end either fellas:

But don't look at that as a bad thing. Consider this, a female is attracted to you enough to pretend to be having hookup with you! She even sent you a picture of her cleavage! So dust off that phone, turn on some Barry White, and get your sexting muscle in form! Uh, your fingers, not your penis.

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